Dealing with Gender and Sexuality at Church
It is perhaps one of the most discussed topics within the churches. It produces strong emotions, subject clashes and opposing clashes between different people. I am referring, of course, to the issue of sexuality and gender identity constantly discussed in theological spheres these days.
Puerto Rico is currently debating Senate Bill 184, which prohibits so-called “conversion therapies.” By conversion therapies, we mean medical, psychological and emotional interventions that attempt, in a forced and oppressive way, to change people’s gender identities and sexual orientations. Although there is still debate between conservative and liberal sectors about what these therapies mean, one statement, affirmed by the consensus of the psychological and medical community, remains obvious: these therapies are harmful, abusive, and traumatizing.
From my frame of reference, several issues stand out peculiarly. It seems important to stop and question the need for intervention—especially in a violent or abusive manner—to subvert, change or impose a gender identity or sexual orientation in children from binary frames. Gender is not a static issue. As the studies on the subject advance, gender is understood as a fluid social construct influenced by culture, politics and economy.
That is, gender does not exist arbitrarily. On the contrary, it gestates, surrounded by cultural influences that contribute to its formation. Trying to change these notions through imposing methods is a direct attack on the person’s dignity. The sin that transgresses humanity and divine identity is also influenced by these parameters.
Discussions about gender, gender identities, gender roles, biological sex, sexual orientation and gender expressions—among other concepts—are not new, nor do they appear out of nowhere. People in LBGTQ communities were not all born 20 years ago; therefore, sexual diversity is not an imposed recent issue. Sexual diversity exists and has been around forever. As a church that remains at the forefront and inserts itself into the world’s daily discussions, we must deepen the theological conversation on gender issues and continue opening spaces for dialogue in our temples.
Here are several tips that church leaders and pastors can adopt and follow to open spaces for dialogue, love, and understanding with people from LBGTQ communities:
1. Familiarize yourself with the language: One of the fundamental problems we face is the lack of knowledge of gender language, which leads to the confusion of terms. There are six basic terms that you should know (and I invite you to look for additional information so that you know about them in-depth): Biological sex, gender, gender roles, gender identity, sexual orientation and gender expression (the performative). These terms are often confused. You need to know their definitions to understand each term and its implications better.
2. Ask about pronouns: One of the worst actions is to name something or someone that does not belong to you. Each person identifies with pronouns (and a name as well). No one should assume pronouns, but with kindness, ask how the person identifies: she, he or they. Always ask the pronouns of the people in your congregation so that you can dignify them with the right words.
3. Do not assume sexual orientations or gender identities: Gender expression talks about how each person expresses their gender in different ways. Due to our colonial constructions since modernity,1 we assume that specific behaviors correspond to a particular gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation. This is not correct. Each person performs or expresses their gender from their understanding and their sexuality. Assuming that a person is cisgender, trans, heterosexual, gay or bisexual, based on behaviors, clothing, or makeup, can lead to misunderstandings, misidentifying people and hurting our neighbors. Don’t assume identities or orientations.
4. Listen to understand when spoken to: Theologian Marcella Althaus-Reid argues that the church has never sat down to listen to the sexual stories of people in the LBGTQ community, which is why theology knows so little about love.2 There seems to be a taboo on hearing the stories of people in this community. Again, our colonial constructions dictate norms on how to practice and execute sex. However, we all practice sexuality in different ways. If someone wants to share with you how they met their partner, how long they have been together, where they met, how was their first kiss and what made them fall in love (among other things), put aside your prejudices and imposed notions of sex and listen carefully to your neighbors without judging or telling them how to practice their sexuality.
5. Check your theology and that of your church: Reflect profoundly about how you present God and Jesus Christ in worship and your church experiences. Ask yourself if the ideas of Jesus you present are macho, patriarchal, exclusive, oppressive or misogynistic. Question if what you say and preach about Jesus obeys heteronormative patterns that erase and destroy visions of God and the Divine from other sexual and gender parameters. The theology preached in our pulpits has the power to save our lives, but it can also destroy them. Review your sermons, Bible studies and presentations to assess whether your theology views Jesus as the savior of all people, not just binary or heterosexual ones.
6. Discuss gender issues with your congregation: Most likely, people in your congregation share your doubts about sexuality, gender, the LBGTQ community and theology. Dare to discuss these issues from a standpoint of community, understanding and love. Take the risk of dialogue with your church and its leaders on sexuality and gender. In doing so, you are seeking growth as a community. Organize events that discuss these issues and invite experts on the subject so that you and your parishioners can deepen your theological understandings.
7. Stay up to date with contemporary theologies: As a pastor and leader, you must stay up to date, not just with language and concepts, but with the modern theological movement to transform the church into a space of openness and love. Consult authors and take courses. Stay up to date on feminist, womanist, mujerista, queer, Indigenous theologies and theology concerning disability. Remember that your church is a place where people must understand the work of grace and salvation of Jesus Christ. However, remember that we live in a highly diverse world, and you, as a leader, must be informed on these issues.
8. Use love as a starting point: Love must be the rule in the processes of openness and dialogue. It is also important to rethink the concept of love from justice and freedom. Love that imposes identities and tries to change sexual orientations is not love. Contention, judgment and absolutes have no place within the Kingdom of God. On the contrary, the basis of God’s kingdom is the love of Jesus for all people. As leaders and pastors, our task is to emulate the unconditional love of Jesus Christ and use it as a source of life, including issues where our comfort zones are wobbling. Love is the starting point for fresh theological articulations that seek to open spaces of encounter with the sacred for all people.
9. Provide safe spaces: The LBGTQ community has been systematically marginalized and oppressed for years. Even if you or people in your church continue to advance in the justice struggle, the church must provide safe spaces for the LBGTQ community. If you invite a person to speak about gender and sexuality: reward their work, give the option of exiting the site if necessary, make sure that the questions are not attacks. Consider the person’s emotional aspect during the talk or dialogue and do not turn it into an oppressive litany. Provide a safe, open, and respectful space.
These are just a few practical tips for continuing the dialogue and open theology to new horizons. Jesus is not a static character, and his salvation does not exist oppressively; both Jesus and his saving work for humanity gestate from processes that do not exclude, from spaces that do not oppress, and from places where love is the basis of all theology. As people of peace, Christ invites us to train ourselves daily to continue expanding his kingdom.
Here is some suggested literature for readings on contemporary theologies and works on sexuality—among others:
Indecent Theology by Marcella Althaus-Reid.
Mujerista Theology by Ada María Isasi-Díaz.
Creada a su imagen: Una pastoral integral para la mujer by Agustina Luvis Núñez.
El sexo en la iglesia edited by Samuel Silva Gotay y Luis N. Rivera Pagán.
Radical Love by Patrick Cheng.
The Disabled Church by Rebecca Spurrier.
Transgressive Devotion by Natalie Wigg-Stevenson.
Decolonial Christianities by Raimundo Barreto.
Essays from the Margins by Luis Rivera Pagán.
Historia de la sexualidad: Vol 1 by Michel Foucault.
El género en disputa by Judith Butler.
In memory of her by Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza.
Black Liberation Theology by James Cone.
Queering Christ by Robert E. Shore-Goss.
¿Eres o te haces?: Una miradita a la homosexualidad y la Biblia by Eliseo Pérez.
Endnotes
1. Mignolo, Walter. The Darker Side of Western Modernity: Global Futures, Decolonial Options. Durham & London: Duke University Press, 2011.
2. Marcella Althaus-Reid, “Marx En Un Bar Gay: La Teología Indecente Como Una Reflexión Sobre La Teología de La Liberación y La Sexualidad,” in Numen: Revista de Estudos e Pesquisa Da Religiao, 2nd ed., vol. 11, 2008, 55–69.
